My previous post had the title 10 Laws of Lifetime Growth, but I presented only three from the authors’ complete list – the first two, and the last.
Some have asked: “Where are the other seven?” Here they are, in the order that the authors present them, with short commentaries.
Always make your contribution greater than your reward. This is the core driving principle of social activism, I think. But at times it may be interpreted one-sidedly as only demanding personal sacrifice, without contributing to personal growth.
I remember receiving, in prison, a message from a fellow activist. She was apologetic, informing me that she was dropping out of the movement, because she wanted to focus on developing herself. I told her to follow what she felt she needed to do, but also asked why she felt stifled through her participation in the movement. In my experience, my contribution to the movement also led to personal growth, including sharpening my mind and developing my communication skills and creativity.
Activist involvement does involve deferred gratification, even opportunity costs. But “serving the people” need not be sheer self-sacrifice. There can also be self-fulfillment and growth.
Always make your performance greater than your applause. I like this aphorism and would have added it to my top list if I wanted to include more than three.
Some audiences are easy to please and generous with their appreciation. This can lead to complacency and “performances” that may satisfy audiences, but not ourselves, if we are honest and admit that we have not given our best. Do this too often, and we grow stale. But if we treat every performance as a fresh challenge, we stretch ourselves and experience the excitement of growing.
I am reminded of the advice that we should aspire to be primarily “inner driven.” We should set our inner professional standards, as a corrective to primitive conceptions of being “market-driven.” While there is value in the external validation of markets, we know that there are all sorts of markets, and many of them are too short-term and fickle.
Always make your gratitude greater than your success. An inner sense of achievement that is affirmed by public recognition is heartwarming and always reason to give thanks. But in addition to the ritual, “Una sa lahat ay salamat sa nasa itaas,” we need to acknowledge that are are many factors that contribute to any success.
It has taken me more than half my lifetime to appreciate the element of “grace” in our lives. I describe grace as something that is not the fruit of our efforts, nor something we fully deserve. And which we accept with thanks and wonder. Like the gift of true friends.
Always make your enjoyment greater than your effort. The first time I read this, I worried that it could encourage slackening, or taking things easy. I decided to interpret it along the lines of Mihaly Csikszentmihaly’s studies into the phenomenon of “flow.”
When the task is more difficult and demanding than our capabilities, we experience anxiety, even discouragement. When the task is too easy, we experience boredom. But when the task matches our capabilities, or even better, is slightly higher so that it stretches our capabilities, we experience “flow.” At the best moments, he describes flow as an experience of spontaneity, and even rapture.
Always make your cooperation greater than your status. There are two ways to interpret this. One is to challenge any diffidence to work with others whom we consider of a higher status than ourselves.
The other interpretation, emphasized by the authors, is a call to concentrate on the work we do with others, rather than worrying about who gets the credit, or being self-conscious about raising our status. That is similar to the saying that we can accomplish many things together, if we do not care who gets the credit. That will take care of itself, eventually.
Always make your confidence greater than your comfort. It is easier to remain inside our comfort zone, rather than face the risk that accompanies any promise of further growth.
The career path of Manny Pacquiao is a good example. Instead of remaining at the weight level where he has beaten all significant opponents, he had the confidence to fight at higher weight levels. Of course this meant more intensive training, new tactics, and careful study of prospective opponents. If he had remained at his initial lower weight level, he would not be as successful, or as respected. The British metaphor about “punching below or above your weight” also applies.
Always make your purpose greater than your money. I always comment that fellow activists do not really need this challenge. Our problem has usually been the opposite – how to get enough money to match our much greater purposes.
Perhaps the most symbolic target of this challenge is Bill Gates. After earning his billions, more money give diminishing returns of satisfaction and growth. That may be the reason for his shifting to philanthropy. Below a certain level (of survival and comfort) money can be the driver of growth. But eventually, the main drivers are the higher (or deeper) needs in Maslow’s hierarchy: self-actualization, learning, and transcendence.
P.S. Lifetime Growth is not just about knowledge, skills, and achievement. It is also about our moral sense, which we deepen and broaden, instead of settling for what is acceptable to the majority at the current level of social development.
P.S. Daniel Dennett in his TED talk asserts that the secret of happiness is “to find a cause much greater than yourself, to which you can devote your life.” In the spirit of the Laws of Lifetime Growth, I would add “and in whose service you become even more of what you can be.”
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